im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
