i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
