So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
