No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
