ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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