There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
