Already got asked if we're dating
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
