Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
