I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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