I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
