He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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