I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
