I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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