i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
