Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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