You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
