I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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