he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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