Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize