took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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