He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
