Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
