meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
