you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
