i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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