I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
