dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
