I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Who died my cat blue again?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
