what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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