Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
