Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
