she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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