When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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