I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
