Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
