Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
