you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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