I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have fence marks all over my body
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