**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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