you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize