it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
