So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
