we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
