I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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