One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
