Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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