belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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