After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
