I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
