i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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