May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
