Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
foreskin is a definite game changer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
