Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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