me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
