yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
