do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
