he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
