Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
