We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
