btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize